Do I find it to be true? For myself, yes (I've talked myself in and out of a great number of things), and I've seen it in other people too. I believe in the concept of self-fulfilling prophecies: we tell ourselves we're a non-smoker and we become one. We tell ourselves we'll learn what we need to pass an exam and we do. But... there are physical limitations: we can't tell ourselves we'll wake up 5'9 and model-thin when we go to bed 5'3 and round. Still, it's something to want to work toward, at least the practical parts.
Your questions, though: they're good ones and of course I can't answer them because I don't have the proper training and I sure don't know you well enough. But I do know that asking is often the first step toward making any change. Maybe if you feel like you're hating yourself whenever you try to change, you want to take a look at what it is you're focusing on and ask yourself if those are the right things. If you hate how it makes you feel, maybe those things aren't what need to change at all.
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Your questions, though: they're good ones and of course I can't answer them because I don't have the proper training and I sure don't know you well enough. But I do know that asking is often the first step toward making any change. Maybe if you feel like you're hating yourself whenever you try to change, you want to take a look at what it is you're focusing on and ask yourself if those are the right things. If you hate how it makes you feel, maybe those things aren't what need to change at all.
Just thoughts.