spinelstar: (hunny)
[personal profile] spinelstar
So. I had a complete meltdown yesterday.

I was feeling a little lonely and depressed the night before. Then I tried to get tickets for something, it didn't work out, and I just lost it. Suddenly, I was just sick of everything and I hated everyone here and I just wanted to go back to America.

But honestly? I consider this a victory. Because I can't believe this took so long to actually happen.

I had meltdowns like this 5-6 times a year in college. When I was 40 minutes away from home and went back to my parents' house every weekend. When my sister was in the dorm next to mine and I could hug her and tell her about everything whenever I wanted. Now we have Skype and IM and that's amazing too, but it just doesn't replace being able to cuddle someone and have a good cry.

But it took me nine months here before I broke down like this. And even now, I can't bring myself to regret coming to Japan, or any of it. And I realize that this is natural, that everyone feels this way at some point when they've gone to live by themselves in a foreign country for a year.

So yes, I'm a little sick of Japan right now. But in the end, I'm okay.

I think I'm just a little lonely. I've somehow managed to make the same mistake I keep making-- though I'm not sure what the mistake actually is-- which causes certain friends in RL to never call me or tell me about anything. But that's another story entirely, and I already got the whole "you should do this/that and the other" speech from my mother last night. So I won't get into that.

Love you guys! I wouldn't have survived here this long without you all. :)

Date: 2011-05-02 02:29 am (UTC)
ceitfianna: (Dean time rambles on)
From: [personal profile] ceitfianna

Oh that moment is never fun of just wanting to go home. I'm glad it took so long and if you want someone different to talk to.

I've got Skype though I rarely use it. Also I still want to send you stuff.

Date: 2011-05-02 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mm-spinelstar.livejournal.com
Oh, that's right! I need to send you my address. Do I have your email? I think I lost it. ^^;

Date: 2011-05-02 04:38 am (UTC)
ceitfianna: (happy face Tumnus)
From: [personal profile] ceitfianna
bardlark@gmail.com and I have yours.

Yes, mail was one of my favorite things when I was living in New Zealand. I want to send you things.

Date: 2011-05-02 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] in-the-blue.livejournal.com
Many, many hugs of the virtual variety. Wish they could be the real ones. Being that far away from everyone you know and love is a very difficult thing. Good for you for persevering.

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