spinelstar: (hunny)
[personal profile] spinelstar
So. I had a complete meltdown yesterday.

I was feeling a little lonely and depressed the night before. Then I tried to get tickets for something, it didn't work out, and I just lost it. Suddenly, I was just sick of everything and I hated everyone here and I just wanted to go back to America.

But honestly? I consider this a victory. Because I can't believe this took so long to actually happen.

I had meltdowns like this 5-6 times a year in college. When I was 40 minutes away from home and went back to my parents' house every weekend. When my sister was in the dorm next to mine and I could hug her and tell her about everything whenever I wanted. Now we have Skype and IM and that's amazing too, but it just doesn't replace being able to cuddle someone and have a good cry.

But it took me nine months here before I broke down like this. And even now, I can't bring myself to regret coming to Japan, or any of it. And I realize that this is natural, that everyone feels this way at some point when they've gone to live by themselves in a foreign country for a year.

So yes, I'm a little sick of Japan right now. But in the end, I'm okay.

I think I'm just a little lonely. I've somehow managed to make the same mistake I keep making-- though I'm not sure what the mistake actually is-- which causes certain friends in RL to never call me or tell me about anything. But that's another story entirely, and I already got the whole "you should do this/that and the other" speech from my mother last night. So I won't get into that.

Love you guys! I wouldn't have survived here this long without you all. :)

Date: 2011-05-02 02:29 am (UTC)
ceitfianna: (Dean time rambles on)
From: [personal profile] ceitfianna
*hugs*

Oh that moment is never fun of just wanting to go home. I'm glad it took so long and if you want someone different to talk to.

I've got Skype though I rarely use it. Also I still want to send you stuff.

Date: 2011-05-02 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mm-spinelstar.livejournal.com
Oh, that's right! I need to send you my address. Do I have your email? I think I lost it. ^^;

Date: 2011-05-02 04:38 am (UTC)
ceitfianna: (happy face Tumnus)
From: [personal profile] ceitfianna
bardlark@gmail.com and I have yours.

Yes, mail was one of my favorite things when I was living in New Zealand. I want to send you things.

Date: 2011-05-02 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] in-the-blue.livejournal.com
Many, many hugs of the virtual variety. Wish they could be the real ones. Being that far away from everyone you know and love is a very difficult thing. Good for you for persevering.

January 2012

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