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I think maybe I've finally hit my limit.
Oct. 7th, 2010 12:26 pmWith the food thing, that is.
The other teachers at my jr. high often bring in different types of food to share with everyone, especially if they've gone somewhere interesting recently. This morning I was offered some sort of dango. I don't know what type of dango it was, but they'd given it to me once before, and I already knew I didn't like it. I don't know why I let her give me one anyway; I guess it just seemed easier than saying no. But I literally gagged while I was trying to swallow it down. I'm sorry, those things are effing disgusting. Japanese people claim they're sweet, but they're not, hardly at all anyway, but they're not really anything else either. They're just gooey and disgusting and they're dipped in something that reminds me of molasses, except again it's hardly sweet at all. I hate them and I'm never eating them again.
And then today I couldn't finish my lunch. I couldn't even get close. I didn't finish a single plate of the three that they gave me. The food wasn't even that bad; it certainly wasn't the worst stuff they'd given me. But I felt my gag reflex trying to kick in again while I was sipping at the miso soup, and I gave up. I just couldn't do it. But I continued to try to pick at my food a little, feeling kind of helpless.
I've decided that Japanese food is like English food. (At least the plain sort of food they give you at a school lunch... Not the nice gourmet kind of Japanese food.) It's soggy and heavy and bland, except it's even worse because it's stuff you wouldn't recognize and they don't ever have salt at the table. I would kill to be able to pour some soy sauce on all that damn white rice they give me, without them looking at me funny. That's how my dad eats rice, that's how I grew up eating rice, and plain white rice tastes like absolutely nothing; why even bother putting it in your mouth?
Anyway, it was at this point (while I was still picking at it) that my English teacher sat down, and he ate for a while before telling me (in English), "If you're not hungry, you don't have to finish." Needless to say, I was really embarrassed, but I couldn't really do anything about it. I mentioned I didn't know why I wasn't hungry today. He politely pointed out that we were eating a little earlier than usual, because of a change in the schedule this week. After I put my tray away, I went into the bathroom and cried. I was just embarrassed, and kind of touched in a way because Niwa-sensei noticed and was being so nice about it.
I'm okay now, but I still have a bit of a lump in my throat. I'm not quite feeling well. Nothing's really wrong, but for some reason I have no appetite. I'm at that place where I can't even imagine eating anything, not even food I like. And it's just embarrassing, because my food is still sitting outside just barely picked at, and the students are all walking by and can probably guess that it was mine...
Oh, well. I tried.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling better, and can finish my food. But at least I know they'll feel sorry for me, instead of thinking I'm rude, if I can't.
The other teachers at my jr. high often bring in different types of food to share with everyone, especially if they've gone somewhere interesting recently. This morning I was offered some sort of dango. I don't know what type of dango it was, but they'd given it to me once before, and I already knew I didn't like it. I don't know why I let her give me one anyway; I guess it just seemed easier than saying no. But I literally gagged while I was trying to swallow it down. I'm sorry, those things are effing disgusting. Japanese people claim they're sweet, but they're not, hardly at all anyway, but they're not really anything else either. They're just gooey and disgusting and they're dipped in something that reminds me of molasses, except again it's hardly sweet at all. I hate them and I'm never eating them again.
And then today I couldn't finish my lunch. I couldn't even get close. I didn't finish a single plate of the three that they gave me. The food wasn't even that bad; it certainly wasn't the worst stuff they'd given me. But I felt my gag reflex trying to kick in again while I was sipping at the miso soup, and I gave up. I just couldn't do it. But I continued to try to pick at my food a little, feeling kind of helpless.
I've decided that Japanese food is like English food. (At least the plain sort of food they give you at a school lunch... Not the nice gourmet kind of Japanese food.) It's soggy and heavy and bland, except it's even worse because it's stuff you wouldn't recognize and they don't ever have salt at the table. I would kill to be able to pour some soy sauce on all that damn white rice they give me, without them looking at me funny. That's how my dad eats rice, that's how I grew up eating rice, and plain white rice tastes like absolutely nothing; why even bother putting it in your mouth?
Anyway, it was at this point (while I was still picking at it) that my English teacher sat down, and he ate for a while before telling me (in English), "If you're not hungry, you don't have to finish." Needless to say, I was really embarrassed, but I couldn't really do anything about it. I mentioned I didn't know why I wasn't hungry today. He politely pointed out that we were eating a little earlier than usual, because of a change in the schedule this week. After I put my tray away, I went into the bathroom and cried. I was just embarrassed, and kind of touched in a way because Niwa-sensei noticed and was being so nice about it.
I'm okay now, but I still have a bit of a lump in my throat. I'm not quite feeling well. Nothing's really wrong, but for some reason I have no appetite. I'm at that place where I can't even imagine eating anything, not even food I like. And it's just embarrassing, because my food is still sitting outside just barely picked at, and the students are all walking by and can probably guess that it was mine...
Oh, well. I tried.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling better, and can finish my food. But at least I know they'll feel sorry for me, instead of thinking I'm rude, if I can't.
