Insanity is cool now, right?

Y'know all those celebrity artist-types who do interviews and are all like, "I just never felt like I fit in as a kid. No one understood me-- I was a freak."

I think people like to hear them say that because most of us identify with that, at least on some level. I know I do. And it's cool to see that someone who feels like that can end up being successful. Especially when they do it by saying, "Screw the rest of the world! I'm going to be who I am!"

Thing is, I think most of us are too scared to say that.

I know I am.

I don't think I could ever be that kind of person. I'm not exactly thick-skinned... In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm whatever the opposite is. ("Thin-skinned"? Does anyone even say that?) So I can't exactly act like I don't care what anyone else thinks of me. Because as soon as someone says something that could even vaguely be construed as critical, I crawl back into my little hole and start freaking out. I truly can't handle too much criticism. That's just who I am. In some ways it's a good thing, because I'm really sensitive to the feelings of other people, and I do a lot to avoid offending or hurting them with my actions.

But it means that I feel trapped here inside myself, afraid of what people will think of the freak that I really am.

I think some people would like me better if I just let myself go, and be who I wanted to be. But there would be other people who would like me less, or not like me at all, or even hate me. I'm too afraid of those people to make it worth it to try to be myself completely.

But maybe that's just who I am...?